Divorce Ceremonies – A New Trend In Japan
When a couple says “I do” at a ceremony in front of friends, they can only be pledging unconditional love for each other, isn’t it? No, no more is this the case. In a new trend that is taking place in Japan, couples are taking part in such ceremonies to announce with pomp and grandeur to probably uneasy and bewildered guests their intention to file for divorce.
The Divorce Ceremonies
These divorce ceremonies are the brainchild of former salesman Hiroki Terai, whose entrepreneurial juices began to flow as he watched friends go through a divorce. Hiroki Terai set up a “divorce mansion” for these ceremonies about a year ago in Tokyo, and since then about 25 ceremonies, each costing 55000 yen ($ 610) have been held (out of some 900 inquiries). And the trend may not be confined to Japan. Hiroki Terai will soon be conducting a divorce ceremony in Seoul.
What’s more, these trends are not stark, simple affairs. The divorce ceremonies that have been held have been full of symbolism. For example, they have included separate rickshaw rides from a temple to the divorce mansion, to indicate a parting of the ways. The climax of the divorce ceremony is not an exchange of rings but a smashing up of the wedding ring, using a gavel with a frog’s head, which symbolizes change in Japan. And guests receive a pair of chopsticks as a souvenir of the parting couple. The permutations for such symbolism are endless. There is plenty of leeway for other entrepreneurs to get in on the act with divorce-ceremony planning, divorce wear (should they be like those for a wedding, or for a funeral?), divorce receptions, divorce photography, divorce gifts and so on. Preparation for a divorce ceremony could require as much effort as for a wedding ceremony.
What Does Divorce Ceremony Do For Couples?
In Hiroki Terai’s view, a divorce ceremony give couples and their friends and family “emotional closure”.
For Saori Teshima, who recently underwent a divorce ceremony with her husband Daigo Teshima, the ceremony gave “a sense of release, like something is finally finished”. Another couple, known only as Mr and Mrs Fujii, felt likewise. According to Mr Fujii, “When we smashed the ring together, I felt like ‘Oh, this is the end of it really’, and my heart and soul felt renewed”, while Mrs Fujii said, “The moment I saw the smashed the ring I said to myself,’ Yes that feels so good’”.
Think About It
Will divorce ceremonies distract couples from seeing the enormity of their decision to divorce? Will preparation for a divorce ceremony divert attention away from the seriousness of the decision to divorce? Will divorce ceremonies make divorce more “acceptable” in society and thus encourage the trend towards divorce?
Congratulations to Hiroki Terai on introducing divorce ceremonies in Japan. I am a ceremonial officiant in Vancouver, BC who performs Divorce Ceremonies. My path is to help individuals or couples impacted by divorce to reconcile the past and embrace a new chapter of life with hope. A Divorce Ceremony is deeply meaningful not only for the individuals involved but also friends and family. Divorce Ceremonies are not to be confused with a trend in the US to divorce parties (which often have a strong element of malice.)